On a muggy Thursday evening, the Agnes men travelled to Bert’s field to play BAB, a team the Agnes know all too well. Many, many men were unavailable. The Ward brothers were playing for Flixton. Flame was at a beer festival in Northampton. Charlie Watts was drinking Grey Goose at £350 a bottle in Ibiza. Louis Beckett was travelling to Italy to watch England in the quarter finals and Sam Wragg was still unavailable for reasons that are too upsetting to type. These absentees did make way for returning players. Sam Moore returned to battle once again having died 3 weeks ago in a lake. Sam arrived 40 minutes late, with two heavily erect nipples and with a John Deere tractor strapped to his Ute.
This game could be remembered for many reasons; Agnes winning at BAB is always enjoyable. The returning Sam Moore. Mark Beckett’s stump cartwheeling to the boundary to give Danny Broumpton a hat-trick. Will Watts dropping the dangerous Ben Kohler-Cadmore. Sam Moore’s direct hit. Tom Norman being plundered into the wheat field by a batsmen named Glen. Being watched on by angry tennis players. Freddie Mercs Langton’s aids riddled hand or even Dan Fryer drinking 50% of the port in the Black Swan afterwards. The game will however most likely be remembered for the debut of Sam Appleton. A lad with more tattoos than Josh Dawson and a smile that melts both men and women’s hearts. Appleton starred firstly with the bat – hitting some sweet sixes. He then shone with the ball. Bowling tightly and removing the always dangerous Danny Broumpton. Sam received a bottle of port for his efforts in the Black Swan after the game. What happened next was like something from Dragons Den. So impressed were the Agnes chaps with Sam’s pitch that it turned into a bidding war to sign the new heart throb. Mark Beckett offered him unlimited rides on the speed boats. The skipper offered him some harvest work. Watty offered him permanent work on a dumper truck. Freddie Mercs Langton offered him a night of passion in one of Judge McGivern’s cabins and hard faced business man Dave Jackson offered him 2% of his business in exchange for match winning performances. Appleton rode off into the night like a true super hero to ponder his offers. Appleton didn’t ride off on horseback, instead he was driving a big break down van.