Royal Burton Agnes 93-5 lost to North Dalton Cake Makers 103-3

It has been another busy winter for the Agnes management. On the business front, Agnes still have the 115 financial fair play charges looming over them, this still hasn’t stopped the Manager buying a 25% share in the Bridlington Evening League. More business news – This winter, the Manager was desperate to sign Scarborough’s Sri Lankan overseas professional. However, with a 12-point deduction threatened by Norman Lowery, it meant that Agnes had to make do with signing ex-Flamborough journeyman, Ben Traves.

It has been a chaotic winter for former number one player, Louis Beckett. Whilst on a work experience placement from his BTEC course in the States. Louis managed to drive a ship into the Baltimore Bridge.

Richard Watts, desperate to discipline his problem child Will has paid for Will to attend a strict weight loss/behaviour camp. Will works out naked twice a day and in-between workouts he reads the Qur’an.

The Skippers hairline has transitioned further away from Tristain Tate and is now much closer to Andrew Tate.

And finally, Fred Langton has spent the winter hatching chicks and posting about it on social media. Fred’s laptop was seized by the police last week.

To the cricket:

First game of the season which is always a lottery. Dalton probably scored 15/20 over par. Agnes fell a respectful 10 runs short. It was a vital lesson in seeing how unfit we all were. The skipper is currently in a hospital bed nursing his knees and ankles and Freddie Gunning is considering visiting Planet Snax less.

Port moment – Ben Traves for an Agnes debut.

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